Performance Was In the Blood
by layne2
Summary: Sookie makes her acting debut.  Bill's 'happy face' is an internet sensation.  Eric & friends are the cutting edge in performance art.  Sookie joins an elite club.  This story has all this plus a Moon Pie.
1. Chapter 1

_**Summary:**__ Sookie makes her acting debut. Bill's 'happy face' is an internet sensation. Eric & friends are the cutting edge in performance art. Sookie joins an elite club. You get all that plus a Moon Pie. _

_**Disclaimer:**__ The lovely and talented Ms. Charlaine Harris owns all the characters in this story. Ms. Harris, please forgive me for this trespass. _

_**Acknowledgements: **__Many thanks to Jodi, aka Vamplover1 for all of her assistance. She was able to provide a detailed clean up to chapters 1 – 3 of this story. If you spot errors, I made them after she completed her edits. She is both an imaginative writer and flawless beta reader. She knows what she is doing, while I'm clueless. She has also created a funny and informative writing column dedicated to helping fan fiction writers. It has helped me a great deal. Who knew that Pam was such a great and funny teacher? _

_http: /www . thesookieverse . com/search/label/Dear%20Pam (Remove the spaces) _

_**Time Frame**__: This story begins one month after the first chapter of __Dead in the Family__. The rest of the DITF book was not included. It is the sequel to my fan fiction story entitled "Through the Fairy Door." Sorry, but you will not understand this story if you do not first read "Through the Fairy Door." But it is a fast and easy read. _

_**Characters: **__ Sookie, Eric, Bill, Victor, and several of Sookie__'__s__ friends. _

_**Rating: **__PG-13 _

**Chapter One **

Niall's spectacular show of magical power did not go unnoticed by humans. The blasts of energy lighted the night sky and literally blew me out of my chair. Niall had been successful in blowing to smithereens the portal between the Fae and human world, but I knew there would be consequences. There always were.

Not long after the crickets decided it was safe to resume their courtship songs, the Bon Temps Area Volunteer Firefighters came blasting up my driveway, scattering gravel everywhere. Neighbors had reported seeing fire coming from my place. Once the Firemen saw that nothing was amiss, they quickly piled back into their emergency vehicles to rush back to their TV's and baseball games.

Sheriff Dearborn along with a couple of new deputies arrived the following day to investigate reports of hearing an explosion. I loudly announced that they were welcome to search all of my land. I was hoping the Pixies would get the hint, and leave them alone.

Just the other day, a small clan of Pixies came back with me from the Fae realm. I know how that sounds, but I'm not creative enough to have imaginary friends. If I were, they would at least have better attitudes. Dermot and Claude cooked up a wild plot to defeat Niall. Dermot kidnapped me, and took me to the Fae realm. It was complicated, but once again, I was dragged into someone else's crazy shit. It was looking grim for me, until the True People of the Trees, aka Pixies, showed up. I made them a deal: get me home in one piece, and they could live on my land. Forever…and ever. I was beginning to realize the down side of that agreement.

I chewed my bottom lip as the Deputies half-heartedly wandered around my property. One Deputy was annoyed over his time being wasted, while the other just kept singing to himself, "I Shot the Sheriff" over, and over again.

I was tired from last night's events, tired in a peaceful sort of contented way that only a night with Eric seemed to create. He was very happy to see me, and he wanted to show me how happy he was, repeatedly. Surprisingly, his lovemaking was remarkably relaxed and playful. His anger and possessive vibe seemed to melt away once the Fae door closed. I had wondered if he felt some threat from Niall, but I was too tired for any amateur-shrink analysis. If Eric wanted to share with me, he will.

I was sitting on the porch drinking sweet tea, stroking my black and white cat, Junior, and watching the "I Shot the Sheriff" Deputy go wild swatting his legs. He was doing a great Fire Ant dance. That was when Sheriff Dearborn came limping up to the front porch.

"Sookie, you said that you saw a bright flashing light coming from that direction?"

"Yes sir, it was coming from the direction of the cemetery. I thought it was lightning. I don't know what it was." I had decided early on that my story was going to be as truthful as possible, simple, and grossly abbreviated. "Sheriff, did you hurt yourself?"

"Yeah, I tripped on something, but I'll survive. That's the price I pay for being an ole-fart, trying to run around in the woods like a kid."

As he bent over to brush the dirt off of his knees, I couldn't help but notice that he was a boxer man, and his wife must be fond of Scottish Terriers. I knew this not because he was wearing his trousers "hip hop, low riding," but because his back pants pocket had been neatly cut out. I fiddled with my ponytail, trying to appear nonchalant, as I looked over the Sheriff's clothing. Fortunately, there was no Pixie artwork.

As Sheriff Dearborn hobbled towards his car, the horn began to inexplicably honk. He struggled to open the hood to disconnect the horn, but the latch was stuck. The Deputies joined him and tried to pry it with a screwdriver, but they finally gave up. We said our goodbyes shouting over the horn. I was thoroughly peeved. As they drove away, I noticed that the horn would honk faster when they accelerated. I had to smile just a little. Gran used to say that true genius is in the details.

I thought about yelling at the Pixies' leader Tall Oak but decided to save my breath. They had not even been here a week, and they had already figured out they could do as they please. I was hoping it would take them at least a few months before they started blowing raspberries at me.

I went back inside and threw myself on the couch. I was just too tired mentally to do anything. Given everything that I had been through lately, I deserved a day off. I had checked out an old favorite romance book from the library the other day, deciding that 17th century Scotland deserved another visit. I adored Outlander when I read it the first time, but as I got into the meat of the book, the enjoyment was no longer there.

It occurred to me that my life was more interesting than the story I was reading, and certainly more fun. The heroine travels back in time to 17th century Scotland, hooked up with a 6'4" hotty named Jamie. She got into a lot of trouble, and her hubby gave her a whipping. What's so great about that? I went to a different world, and I can read minds. (Not that I'm bragging.) I have a 6'4", former Viking vampire who is definitely a hunk. On top of that, my vampire hunk uses soap and water. There was no bathing, clean clothes, or toilet paper back then. I bet all the kilts had to be plaid, so you would not see all the skid marks. I was chuckling over my juvenile joke when it occurred to me, Jamie and Claire did have a baby together; that gave me pause.

I was contemplating how empty my old house was when I saw something moving outside the dining room window. It was a very small female pixie. I recognized her as the Pixie who tried to console me when I was trapped in the Fae world. She understood why my attempted escape from my confines was a failure; women were weak. That pissed me off, which got me out the door and ultimately back home. I guess she did help me.

She was no longer wearing a weed on top of her head. Her hat appeared to be a red plastic drink cap. She was just sitting on the windowsill doing nothing. Opening that old window was easier said than done, so I walked outside, and around to the side of my house. She had her head back against the windowpane, and her eyes were closed.

"Hello, can I help you?"

Her voice was extremely high and squeaky. "Mistress Sookie. Pardon me for disturbing you. I was just relaxing and enjoying the sun."

I looked across my property at the expansive sunny grass field, and compared it to the uncomfortable window ledge. "Okay, have a good day."

I returned to my book, but I was completing pages without knowing what I had read. The little Pixie was still sitting on the windowsill. She had her arms wrapped around her knees. She looked lonely.

Against my better judgment, I tapped on the window, and asked her if she would like to come in for a visit.

She smiled and immediately appeared inside the window. "Thank you, Mistress Sookie. I am honored." She disappeared and reappeared on top of my book sitting on the coffee table. "I have read books before, but none this large. I can also write."

"Oh really, and what's your name?"

"My name is Sunlit, but you may call me Grit. That is what everyone calls me." Her crooked smile looked a bit self-conscious.

"Well, that is a beautiful name and a _great_ nickname. Grit is a great trait to have. It means you're _tough_."

Her expression brightened. "It does? Others, think it means something very small, and walked upon."

"That's not nice. Why would they insult you?"

"I am not very big and neither is my magic. It has been known to stink at times."

I stifled a smile. "I have no magic, but I get by fine.

"You don't need to be big to be tough. Grit is a deceptive thing. It may look like something small that you walk on, but it has been known to stop powerful machines. Grit in the eyes of an adversary will stop him every time. Never underestimate the power of well placed grit."

She smiled and stood straighter. Her hat tumbled off her mass of brown hair. As she fumbled about to pick it up, I could not help but notice that Grit was small even for Pixie standards. She was pencil thin and lacked female curves. Her brown hair seemed to be plagued with static electricity. She was into the woodland look or failed to comb out the twigs and debris out of it. Her clothing was a red colored rag-tag affair, consisting of bits of cloth and paper. Her features were broad like all the Pixies, but her ears were exceptionally large. They would twitch when she was excited.

From what I gathered, she was a bit of a loner. Her parents were killed during a skirmish with a group of Sprites, and she had little family left. She seemed to be more of a dreamer than a fighter, which made her different from her fellow clan members. She looked a bit confused, and shook her head when I asked if she had a boyfriend.

She admired an old kitchen tablecloth that was polka dotted with red cherries, so I gave her a handkerchief that had belonged to my grandmother. It was white with tiny red ladybugs on it. It would look nice made into a dress, and it would match her red screw-on hat. She thanked me profusely, and kissed my hand before she disappeared. Such a humble gesture for an old hanky made my heart go out to her. Once she was gone, there was a distinctive reek of sulfur in the air. I held my nose. _Ugh, her magic does stink. _

I was contemplating how I might be able to help Grit, when I heard a car driving up my driveway. It was two "Special Agents" from Homeland Security-Secret Service Department. Apparently, someone saw something on a computer screen that was unexplainable. From what I gathered, while sorting through the dribble in their minds, they were the low men on the flow chart, so they were nominated to the task.

They thought for certain that it was a computer glitch, and they were sent on a wild goose chase, but were determined to do the job by the book. The Agent who did all the talking was a nondescript, 30's, short and stout fellow who had a name that I could not catch. He seemed quite impressed with himself and his job. His partner, Special Agent Smith, was considerably older and had a permanent scowl on his face. He was quite unimpressed with his job and his partner. He mostly wished he was back home.

I was relieved to discover that neither agent thought about Hotel Gizeh blowing up. Nor were they aware of my telepathic ability. Apparently, even after 9/11, Federal agencies still did not talk to one another.

As I was answering their questions, a dozen pixies materialized out of thin air behind the men. The little 6 inch people appeared armed to the teeth with make shift armor and weapons. They had clearly been into my tool shed. I heard scuttling and movement. Suddenly, I realized that the special agents were carrying guns. My blood pressure jumped, and I felt the adrenaline pumping into my system. I stifled the impulse to shout at the Pixies. I tried to look calm, as I shook my head in a firm 'no.' I tried to wave them off and covered the movement by acting as though I was shooing a fly away. The Special Agent stopped talking and stared at me. He slowly turned around to see nothing but an empty porch. They exchanged knowing glances. The short stout fellow resumed his line of questioning and decided to ignore my spastic fit.

As they wrote on their note pads, I felt a mind tickle and looked down to see Junior behind the men. He calmly sashayed around their ankles and appeared to be watching and listening to them carefully. I was still tense from the Pixies' aborted assault. A question struck me while the agent blathered on. W_as Junior still linked to Niall? Was Niall watching? _ Followed quickly by, _why can't I have a normal cat? Why must I have a mutant feline who is also a Fairy minion?_

I tried to pull my scattered thoughts together to answer their questions. I was relieved when the agents thanked me and finally left. But I knew they would be back. They were going to go talk to the Sheriff to compare notes. They thought I was tense because they were with the government, and I had something to hide. Well, that was partly right. But they would've never guessed that I feared they were going to be torn apart by dozens of tiny beings. Their Special Agent asses were just inches away from being turned into Special Agent leather used to upholster the Pixies' couch. The Agents planned on returning in the early morning in order to catch me unaware. I shook my head. Those rascally Feds, they're so sneaky.

When they returned the following day, I gave them an identical story minus the spastic fit. I thought we were done, but later that day, I heard their sedan driving up my gravel driveway. As I was looking out my window, I decided that I had to get rid of these jerks without mobilizing the Pixie A-team. I looked around the room for inspiration. I found it in Gran's bible. _Of course!_ I picked it up, held it close to my heart, and said a quick prayer to God to forgive me for the "stuff" that was going to be spewing. I opened the door wide; I was ready for my acting début.

The short Federal Agent started with his usual greetings and statements about why they were there. He had a new speech about how it was "time for honesty," blah blah blah, "protection of our country," and so on. Once he began to ask the same questions, I was aggravated and brimming with inspiration.

"Honestly, I do know." In a whisper, I added, "But I figured you wouldn't believe me." I looked around my front porch, just in case Bin Laden was hiding behind my porch swing.

The agents' eyes lit up, and they whipped out their note pads from their pockets. The short fellow who acted in charge leaned forward, urging me to continue.

"Well, it's a sign, these are the 'Last Days.'" I did the air-quote signs with my fingers. "Jesus is coming! I didn't tell you earlier because everyone knows that the Federal Government is nothing more than a bunch of liberal-loving, Atheists. But like you said, now is the time for honesty. It's time for sinners to get down on their knees and beg God for forgiveness. Have y'all been saaaved?" I didn't let them answer; I was going for the Oscar.

"I'm sooo ready for Armageddon. You see, when those Democrats took over Washington. I knew the end of the world might be a coming. I got born again, for the third time! I joined the Tea Party to stop Satan and Democrats, which are the same thang."

"That light I saw the other night, it was just another sign telling me that the end of the world is near. It was fire from hell! The Reverend Benny Hinn on TV, he told me if I gave him a donation, I would receive some of God's grace and see the truth. Heck, I must be full of it, cause I see signs everywhere now."

I had to look down at my bible to stifle a laugh when I said, "I was full of it."

Their faces went from bored, excited, to stone-cold hard in less than one minute.

I quoted my favorite scripture, which made no sense since it had nothing to do with the end of the world. I shook my bible at them, and laid on the southern trailer-trash accent with a trowel. "We needs to get-ta pray-in cause time's a wastin." I opened my door wider and invited them into my home to pray.

They put their notebooks in their pockets, mumbled something about a long drive back. Agent Smith gave me what he thought was a smile, but it looked more like a painful grimace. They turned on their heels and walked back to their car. The short Special Agent was thinking I was just another racist IRS: Ignorant Religious Southerner. His partner only thought about his painful hemorrhoids, and he dreaded the long ride back home.

I waved at them as they drove away. I watched the sedan disappear in a cloud of dust and proudly said, "I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Demille."

If they really knew what happened here, they would drop a load of Al-Qaeda in their pants. Later, guilt would set in, and I would feel rather badly about degrading my religion, democrats, and President Obama just to chase off some irritating people. But I figured, given everything I had been through in the last few years, God must have a sense of humor. He would probably understand, or at least cut me some slack.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It had been a couple of weeks following the destruction of the Fae door, and I felt like my life had finally settled back to a normal routine. That is, I was working full shifts at Merlotte's, and seeing Eric when our work schedules permitted. He was still very busy due to the new regime take over. Unfortunately, Victor-initiated problems seemed to be on the increase. I was wondering where all the Victor drama was going to lead us. I was not naive enough to think it would work itself out peacefully. But I was hoping we would catch a break, and he would disappear.

I didn't see the Pixies tenets everyday. They seemed very busy settling into their new home. The Ironwood scouts were traveling a great deal to get the lay of the land and scoping out the neighbors. They promised me that all their scoping was "looky-no-touchy." As long as they were busy and out of trouble, it was good in my book.

I was pleasantly surprised when Bill called to tell me he would be returning home very soon. He was completely healed, and back to his normal undead health. I had worried about him when he failed to heal immediately. I missed not having a neighbor near by. True, my neighbor was a blood-drinking vampire who crept around my property at night, but no one's perfect.

Though there was the little issue of me being married to Eric, I didn't want Bill to think that I didn't value his friendship. To welcome Bill back, I made sure his house was repaired of the damage I created, cleaned, and stocked with fresh synthetic blood. I even cut flowers from Gran's garden and put them in a vase on his desk. But I don't think he even noticed the flowers because when he came over all he could talk about was his new found sibling, Elizabeth.

When he showed up at my door, I immediately noticed that he had regained his deathly white pallor instead of sickly gray. As Eric had predicted, Bill's skin had sloughed off in large patches, but it grew back with the help of Elizabeth's blood. _Eck._

He told me all about "Liz" and showed me several photos. I had to suppress a smile, because she looked like a female version of Bill. Apparently, Lorena was only attracted to one type of person. Bill described Liz as analytical and a workaholic. Mmm, does that sound familiar?

Bill and Liz bonded over the act of sharing blood and mutual suffering at the hands of their maker, Lorena. While Bill was convalescing, Liz convinced him that a vampire law should be enacted that would give vampire "children" rights and protection from their makers' abuse. Apparently, vampires would make little "tsk-tsk" sounds when a maker destroyed his or her vampire child, but it was tolerated. Children were nothing more than chattel or property, for their makers to do with as they pleased. Why make vampire children if you could not enslave, exploit, or kill them at will?

Bill and Liz toyed with the idea that they might be able to apply American-style campaign strategies to this endeavor. They were considering creating a non-profit political organization, which would hire a PR consultant and a lobbyist. They were going to meet in New Orleans to discuss their proposed venture with one of De Castro's assistants. Liz thought if the Great Reveal was possible, then anything was possible. Personally, I thought if they pursued this, they would both end up joining Lorena, but I kept my lip buttoned. Bill was excited about this new righteous vampire mission, and I didn't want to shine the light reasoning on it and have it burned up.

As Bill and I were catching up, I noticed him smiling several times, which was positively giddy by his standards. I had not seen him this happy since he got high-speed internet. Speaking of which, he pulled out a new laptop computer, which was a surprise gift for Liz. As I looked at the small sleek, state-of-the-art computer, I felt a jealous, selfish stab in my heart. Stifling it, I told him how happy I was for him. It was true; I wanted him to be happy even if it did make me just a teensy bit sad that he is moving on.

I told him about my short but eventful trip to fairyland, and the Ironwood Clan returning with me. He was amazed to hear that Pixies do exist and asked me lots of questions about them and their relationship to Fairies. He wanted to know all about the Fae world. I felt like a dolt because I wasn't able to answer his questions. I was just an unwilling tourist in the Fae realm. I didn't exactly take pictures and sample the regional cuisine. I just tried to get the hell out of there before I was caught and killed.

After Bill left my house, I let Junior in for the night and locked the back door. I caught myself sighing. At least, Bill was no longer with that elitist bitch Selah and her elitist skinny thighs. My cell phone began to ring. It was Bill's number, but all I heard was a thud and a lot of noise, but no Bill. I knew what was going on.

I spoke loudly into the phone, "Tall Oak? You'd better not be hurting Bill. He's my friend. Do you hear me? Grinslade, can you hear me? I told y'all about Bill and for you to leave him alone! Tall Oak?"

I heard very high-pitched giggling which was definitely not Bill. I shouted a few more times into the telephone receiver, only to hear a distant squeaky voice.

"My Goodness, what is this? The box sounds a bit like our most beloved patron-ass Suckie. But she would never scream like a nasty she-demon in heat. It smells like a nasty bit of death magic." The phone crackled and went dead.

I grabbed a flashlight and was already out the door by the time I heard "she-demon in heat." I knew the path that Bill usually took to reach my house. I jogged along it until I was half-way through the cemetery. From there, I could sort of see something big and rounded that appeared to be moving. I squinted and shown my flashlight on it, but could not figure out what I was looking at. It appeared to be a moving boulder.

As I got closer, I could not believe my eyes. Bill had been silver chained and thrown across the back of a huge hog, as though he was a sack of potatoes. His clothes were disheveled, and his pants were more down than up. The hog appeared to have a sort of bridle, and Tall Oak and several other Pixies were riding on the behemoth's neck.

I directed my light on Bill's face. There was a gag in his mouth, but I could still see that he was all fangs and blazing red eyes. "Tall Oak, put Bill down this instant!"

Tall Oak turned around and feigned an exaggerated look of surprise. He appeared on Bill's bare rear-end to address me. "You mean this dead thing we found sneaking through the woods is your illustrious neighbor Bill?"

"You know darn well that he is Bill. Now let him go!"

Tall Oak looked down at Bill's butt and scowled. He hopped down to the hog's reins, gave them a flick and said something in another language. The huge swine abruptly sat down. Bill slid off the hog's back and rolled on the ground.

"Bill, are you all right?" I pulled the gag out of his mouth and began to loosen the chains with the help of a few Pixies.

"I am fine! Sookie, I gather these-these _creatures_ are who you spoke of?"

"Yes. These folks came back with me from the Fae realm, and they refer to themselves as The True People of the Trees. The leader of the Ironwood clan is Tall Oak. He is driving the-the um...pig."

Bill was standing up, clothes righted and brushed clean of leaves in a split-second. He picked up his cell phone, examined it, scowled, and shoved it in his pocket. He addressed Tall Oak, who along with several other Pixies was lounging on the huge hog's shoulders.

"I demand to know the meaning of this attack." His eyes were still reddish in color, and he was rigid and clenching his fist.

Tall Oak casually replied, "We defend our land as well as the unoccupied adjoining lands from any creature that we deem a threat. You are a vampire." Enough said.

"I have not threatened you or your clan. Your attack was unprovoked. I am Bill Compton, Sookie's neighbor and close friend. My family has owned the land adjacent to this cemetery and has lived here for over 180 years. The land for this cemetery was donated by my family, and all my family members are buried here."

Grinslade spat off the side of the pig, "Well, you smell a lot like your relatives, dead man. Though, you are a bit chattier..."

Tall Oak cut in, "Pardon, our defensive response. In our former land, we were forced to take a preemptive stance to be successful in our defense against more powerful beings. Especially when threatened by the Fae."

"So you were associated with the Fae, such as Niall Brigant?"

"Associated, is not the word I would have selected but yes."

Bill seemed to relax a bit, and his tone changed. "I see. I have made it my business to gather information about different beings. Perhaps one evening you might tell me about the Fae in more detail. I have often thought how valuable information regarding the customs and culture of the Fae would be." He paused and added, "I would also like to know all about the True People of the Trees and your particular clan. Of course, providing such information would include payment."

This seemed to catch Tall Oak's attention. He glanced at his clan members. "Maybe something can be arranged. Tell me, Vampire. Do you ever stock mead or a bubble drink called Doctor Peppy?"

"No, but that can be easily arranged. Come by my home tomorrow evening once it is full dark, and we can discuss this. Hopefully, next time we meet it will be a more agreeable and peaceful encounter."

Bill gave a slight nod to the rest of the Pixie rabble, and ignored the hog. With dignity, Bill picked up the case with Liz's new computer, gave me a peck on the cheek, and strolled off toward his home. I noticed his clothes were dirty, and his shirt was torn. Maybe he would not notice that the Pixies spat on him. I'm sure he was humiliated by the event but hid it by rising above the gross insult. He might be dead, but Bill was still the perfect southern gentleman.

Once Bill was gone, I turned to the Pixies lounging on their hog. "Tall Oak, this can not continue. I told you all about Bill. You probably observed him walking from his house to mine and watched as I welcomed him in. In fact, I'm sure you were watching. You cannot assault, harass, or rob every individual who comes anywhere near my land, just because you don't know them. Yes, this is your home too, but you must conduct yourself politely to beings that do us no harm. And where in blue blazes did you get that _monster_ _hog_?"

Tall Oak stood up and walked over to the end of the huge beast's rump to address me. "My dear patroness, I beg your pardon. Our thoughts were only for your safety. Once we understand who is friend or foe, these incidents shall cease."

He smiled and looked down at the hog. "As for my fine steed, is she not lovely? No sow or boar in our former world could attain this size. She has excellent endurance and a gait which is much smoother than some steeds I have ridden." He gave me a sly glance. "She followed me home from one of our many scouting trips, and I decided to keep her. Once I train-her-up, she will make a great and formidable war steed." He plopped down on her rump, legs out stretched, and vigorously scratched her. She swung her massive head around to look at him, making grunting sounds. She obviously was enjoying a good scratch.

"Watch this." He disappeared and reappeared on an Oak tree limb and stomped on it.

The huge hog walked over to the base of the tree and began snuffling around it. We all watched as she found something of great interest and began to use her snout to push aside the leaf litter and soil. I used the flashlight to light up the discovery. It appeared to be a mass of wiggling white larva in the rotten wood. As she started to lick up the squirming larva the Pixies crowded in to grab a few squirming larva. _Yuk._

"Ha, looky there! She also has a fine nose for delicious treats."

I wrinkled my nose and shook my head, "Your noble steed also has poop all over her huge backside, and she stinks to high heaven. She will destroy my flowerbeds if given a chance. She isn't welcomed in my yard or anywhere on my property.

"Tall Oak, wild hogs are all over the countryside, and they're a real problem. Don't be surprised if a farmer shoots your steed out from under you. I'm no hog-aficionado, but from the looks of her head and shoulders, I think she might have some Russian Boar in her. No one is going to welcome this gigantic hog on their land."

Tall Oak materialized back onto the hog's shoulders and looked down at her. "I understand, my kind patroness. Maybe we should just eat her."

He walked up onto the hog's huge head, crouched down, and started stroking her ear. He spoke to her in another language, saying something that had rhythm and rhyme. She cocked her head and seemed to be listening. The rest of the Pixies started elbowing each other, pointing and laughing, as Tall Oak continued to sweet talk his hog. When a few Pixies broke out into a fight over a larva, I had enough. I was not going to be guilt tripped by Tall Oak, and I could not stomach watching Pixie/pig amore. I said my goodnights and trudged home.

I didn't know what to think about these little guys. They had only been with me a short time, but trouble seemed to be their nature. Anyone who took one-step onto my property might be strung up or lose something they valued, like their head. That reminded me; I really needed to talk to Jason, Sam, and Calvin to tell them to stay away from my land on the nights when they let their wild side off their leashes. Otherwise, I would be untying Weres and shape shifters every full moon. On the other hand, I had probably never been so safe in my home since these guys showed up. Can they really adapt to this world before I tear my hair out?

Tall Oak said they had been sending out search parties, maybe they will move. Gosh, they had not even been on my land for a month, and I already wanted them gone. I thought about what Niall said about Pixies, and my ability to cope with them. I clinched by jaw and kept walking. It sucks being wrong.

As I walked inside my home, Junior greeted me. "Junior, I think a long hot bath is in order." I began to peel off my clothes and headed into my bathroom. I wondered if Eric might leave work early tonight. _Maybe I can get him to cuddle with me and whisper love poetry in some foreign language to me._ "Gawd, I'm so pathetic." Disgusted, I kicked off my jeans and threw my t-shirt into the hamper.

I tossed the bath salts into the hot jet of steaming water and breathed in the fresh sweet smell. I got into the old claw foot bathtub, and let out a deep and meaningful, "Aww..." Soaking in a hot bath was one little luxury that even us _po-folk _could afford. I relaxed as I let my crabby mood melt.

I sort-a "felt" around in my head for Eric. He was there, his un-life buzzing away. He was in his head honcho mood but also quite stressed. I closed my eyes and slowly sank into the tub. I submerged my head under the water, the warm water allowed me to let go and focus on Eric. I let the sensuous feeling flow over and then out of me to Eric. I also sent him a large helping of what I refer to as "radar love." At first there was resistance, but the barrier shrank, and I began to feel his tension receding. He reached out to me and encircled me with his essence.

I brought up my favorite image of him lying nude on Gran's four-poster bed. He had a sweet smile that took me back to the days when he had lost his memory. I could smell him; I could feel his touch on my back, his lips on my neck. I was nibbling on his neck when all of a sudden, I was nibbling on the fine blond happy trail that led to his man bits. _What?_ My eyes popped open; I sputtered bath water and sat up. I wasn't thinking that. Eric had managed to hijack my fantasy and redirect it to something he enjoyed. _Men._ I had to smile, as I eased back down in the tub. Oh well, there was no harm in letting him take over and drive. He's an excellent driver, and he has taken me on some very lovely scenic trips.

Later that night, I was awakened to laughing and snickering coming from my living room. Eric had come over, eager to reenact our shared fantasies, and to create a few new ones. I thought he was going to leave once I fell asleep. I looked at my clock: 3 AM. _I will be blurry and tired tomorrow if I don't get some sleep._ I pulled on my old bathrobe and slippers and shuffled out to my living room. Eric was fully dressed and sitting on my couch. He was staring at a cell phone while a group of giggling pixies surrounded him.

"What's going on here? What are y'all doing?"

Eric put the cell phone down and patted the couch for me to sit next to him.

"Sorry for awakening you, Lover. I was about to leave when Tall Oak, and his clan made a social visit to discuss several issues. He mentioned his meeting with Bill. Would you like to see the photos?"

"Photos? What photos? How can he take a picture when he has no camera?"

"Apparently, he had a small cell phone that takes photos."

"Where on earth did you get that, Tall Oak? How can you sign up for a cell phone plan?"

I sat next to Eric and looked at the photo that made Eric smile. My eyes bugged out. The photo showed a man tied up in chains, and thrown across a huge hog. His clothes were a mess, and most of his bright white butt was exposed. Eric forwarded the shots and showed me a dozen more pics, all of Bill being chained and dragged across a hog's back. The last shot was of the Pixies grinning ear to ear, and proudly posed on top of Bill's exposed backside.

"Eric, I want these photos deleted."

Eric looked at Tall Oak who casually crossed his arms and nodded. Eric hit the delete button, and zapped all the shots.

"Where did you get this cell phone?" I took the phone out of Eric's hands and hit the button for it to play voice messages. There were a half dozen, all to Sheriff Dearborn. "You robbed the Sheriff of his personal phone?"

"No, never would I do such a thing. We only borrowed a bit of heavy fabric for my dear wife's use. The talking picture box was a sweet surprise."

"I'm returning the phone to the sheriff. It's late, we'll talk about this another time. What's important is that the photos are gone."

Eric gave me a smile and fluttered his eyelids at me. He was mimicking some of my silly mannerisms.

"They're gone, right?"

"Yes, indeed. They are gone to my cell phone and Pam's. If I know Pam, the photos have hit about twenty more phones by now and so on. Thousands of images of Bill's ass on a pig are shooting across the internet."

"Eric! How could you do that? Not only are those photos humiliating, but also they clearly show that Pix…True People of the Trees exist in this world. The photos might get traced back to Sheriff Dearborn's number. There could be people crawling all over these woods looking for them."

"Sookie, unless you know that the butt in question belongs to Bill, there would be no way to tell. His face is mostly in the dark and hidden. Also, in this day and age of altered photos, no one is going to believe those were legitimate images. Humans know there are no such beings."

"Just like there's no such thing as vampires, Weres, and shifters right?"

Eric stopped smiling. "I think you are overreacting, but I will send a text to Pam to not send out the photos." He pulled out his cell phone. He muttered something in another language.

"Mmm, Pam copied me on one of the photos she sent out. She added a caption, 'William Compton and friends admiring a full moon.' Aww well, she did include his name."

"Oh no! Tell her to stop, subtract, retract or-or whatever you do to get them back."

Eric cocked his head and lifted his eyebrows.

I got up and headed back to my room. "Ugh, I'm going back to bed. Y'all can show yourselves to the door."

I threw myself back into my bed, but I was too perturbed to sleep. Those photos were going to embarrass Bill, and if there was a way for them to cause me trouble, they would.

Maybe I could find the Pixies a nice big National Park to live in. I got an uneasy image of families picnicking at Yellowstone Park, alongside a marauding clan of Pixies. I saw Pixies barbequing Smokey the Bear. Stampeding a buffalo herd into Old Faithful because they wanted a buffalo stew. I put my pillow over my face and moaned.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

I woke up to a bright day, but I felt groggy and far less than bright. Lying in bed, I stared at the water stain on my bedroom ceiling. It looked like a dagger, a big fat dangerous dagger hovering over my head. It looked like a pork chop the other day. My morning Rorschach Test was trying to tell me something. Pork chop days were much better than dagger days.

I rolled out of bed and started my morning routine, but I was stuck in zombie mode. Staring into the mirror only assured me of a really bad hair day. Oh well, zombies were not really known for good hair. Fortunately, I was only craving coffee and not brains. I dragged myself into the kitchen and filled the coffee pot with water. I reached for the heavy-duty "wakey-wakey blend," guaranteed to open your eyes as well as your colon.

I was pounding down a third cup of coffee when I heard a tapping on the kitchen window. _Curtains, I definitely need some curtains._ Staring at me through my kitchen window, were two reasons why I felt like hammered shit. It was Tall Oak and his wife, Slender something-or-other. They waved. I pointed to my front porch. Uh-oh, this must be serious. Male Pixies only appeared to be running the show. When there were important decisions to be made the women stepped forward and became large and in charge. It had been the women's decision to walk through the portal and live in an unknown world.

With a forth cup of coffee in hand, I walked out onto my front porch. Junior, my constant feline observer joined me. He hopped up in my lap, once I got comfortable on the swing. The tiny couple suddenly appeared on the porch railing. They both bowed and greeted me rather formally.

"Good morning, generous and compassionate Sookie. This is my wise and lovely wife, Slender Willow. We have come to speak to you regarding an important matter that concerns us." I noticed he pronounced my name correctly and my attributes did not drip with sarcasm. They must want something.

His wife was quite large for Pixie standards, which meant that she was 6 1/4 inches rather than 6 inches tall. She stood a head taller than Tall Oak and was stoutly built. Her hair appeared to be in two colors, but it was actually dried grass that had been woven into the complex braids. The grass must have been the Pixie version of hair extensions.

Her clothing was a strange array of fabrics and skins. But unlike many of the other Pixies' garb, they looked well made and carefully coordinated. She topped off her ensemble with an extremely furry hat that almost blocked her vision. I wondered if there were any squirrels left on or anywhere near my property.

She took charge of the conversation. "Sookie Stackhouse, it is a pleasure to be properly introduced to our benefactor." She bowed slightly and cut to the chase.

"Sookie, our scouts have searched these lands extensively but have only found Hugemans and pavement. We have yet to find other Pixies. Those beings that do possess magic are not of our kind." She spat off the railing. "We knew this world would be overrun with Hugemans, but it did not occur to us that there would be no Pixies at all. We have children who will soon reach maturity, and they should marry outside of the clan. Too much inbreeding produces smaller Pixies with limited magic. We have come to you with the hope that you might be able to tell us if you know or have ever heard of small beings who possess magic."

I noticed she used the word "Pixies" and not "True People of the Trees." I made a mental note to ask her about this later.

"It is a pleasure to meet you too, Slender Willow. Yes, I grew up hearing stories of Pixies, Leprechauns, and other small people who had magical powers. But those stories originated in Europe, not here in Louisiana."

"Can you show us where this 'Your-rupt' is located?"

"It's pretty far away. Come inside, and I will show you a map."

We went into my living room, and I pulled out a dusty old atlas from under the couch. I had bought it from a library sale because of the pretty artwork and colorful photos of people around the world. I didn't care that it showed a united USSR. Besides, the two dollars I spent went to support our little town library.

The first pages showed the world as it appeared from space. The three-dimensional image had been cut up and placed on a flat page. Both Pixies had seen maps and understood the concept of mapping. Immediately they noticed that the continents were in the same configuration as their Fae World. Tall Oak walked on the large glossy pages, pointed to each continent, and recited their Fae names.

I shook my head. "How can that be? Could all the different worlds be located on the same planet? Is that where different dimensions concept comes in?

"I remember watching a TV show where there was this brainy guy who was wheelchair bound, and he could only speak with a computer. He said something about other dimensions that were all around us, but we can't see them. Another brainiac suggested that humans couldn't see or relate to other dimensions. Just like fish cannot see or understand land animals, but they both exist on the same planet."

Tall Oak appeared bored as I rambled on about the concept. Apparently, he was not impressed with the theory. His only comment was, "So what? How will that find us other True People?"

"Okay, point taken. No need to burn brain cells on something that's not going to be of any use to us." The thought that the Fae dimension was located on the same planet as our dimension was something I would have to contemplate another time.

Tall Oak pointed on the map where their original homeland was located before they were defeated, and forced further and further into the wastelands. Their home was in central Texas, only in the Fae dimension. It was located at the headwaters of a small river.

I flipped the pages over to the enlargement of Texas. I squinted at the tiny label: "San Marcos River, Aquarena Springs. I've heard of that place. It was once a theme park before a college bought it. I think you might find it a very different place from the wild and natural home you knew in your dimension. I don't think your clan would be pleased with glass bottom boats and hoards of tourist."

I flipped over to pages that showed Europe and England. Slender Willow explained to me that in their own world, the place we called Northern Ireland had a large population of True People. They had heard old stories of entire tribes of Pixies who had disappeared during a time of strife and war. Perhaps they stayed but moved to a different dimension.

Since the atlas was dated, I conferred with the all-knowing, all-seeing internet to tell us about Northern Ireland, leprechauns and Pixies. Slender Willow nodded her head and told Tall Oak, "There is no reason to go to the springs. It is overrun with swarms of tear-risk. We must send our scouts to this Ira-land. Perhaps our people are there."

"How will you get your scouts to Ireland? Can they teleport over the ocean?"

Tall Oak was rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache. "No, the distances are too great for such a jump. They must take a boat."

"It'll be a lot faster if they fly."

That got us onto a lengthy subject on jet travel. They had seen planes in the sky and had guessed correctly, what they might be. If they could get their scouts to Dallas, they could easily teleport into a jet that was bound for Ireland. I printed out departure times, flight numbers, and maps for them in the smallest font possible. The scouts would have to use backpacks just to lug the paper work. But at least they wouldn't have to go through security.

With true sincerity, I told the couple that I would understand if they needed to leave. It was important that they find their people. I did not mention that I would dance for joy once they were gone.

Gran did not have social etiquette rules for entertaining Pixies, but she would have probably said that my manners lapsed by not offering my guests refreshments immediately. Once they had a game plan, I brought them sweet tea and a chocolate chip cookie.

They were in such a good mood; I thought it was a good time to discuss with them the subject of the Pixies' stealing and unprovoked attacks on visitors. Slender Willow gave Tall Oak a glaring look as I described what happened to Bill. She would have look fierce if she had not had her fat cheeks bulging with chocolate chip cookie.

Spitting crumbs, she promised me, "Aww thilly boy nonthense will thop." I was so relieved, that I gave her a second cookie to take back to their kids. Gosh, I wish all of life's problems could be solved with a cookie.

A few evenings later, I got a text message from Eric. He wanted me to meet him at Fangtasia later that night. He didn't say why, which was unusual. We usually planned our evenings together in advance. Also, since the Nevada vampires had taken over Louisiana, and I had returned from the Fae world, Eric didn't seem to want me to go to Fangtasia. I usually met him at his home, or he came to mine. I got the feeling he did not want me to be seen by other vampires. I was wondering if I had become a problem for him. Pam once commented that I was his soft and yummy underbelly. That Pam, she's quite a clown-a scary creepy clown with sharp teeth. But I feared she was right.

I scrounged through my closet looking for a miracle. No miracles, but I found a pretty blouse that Eric had not seen. Along with some Jeans that did not make me look too fat, I should pass inspection. I wanted to look good, but did not want to look like I was trying. I stared at myself in the mirror and felt an identity crisis coming on. Gosh, it's hard enough trying to look good, but to also look good without trying was beyond me. It occurred to me that Eric would prefer to see me naked and spread out on a bed. That thought brought a smile to my face, and broke the desire to try on everything in my closet. I was going to see Eric, which made me move faster.

Fangtasia was already hopping when I arrived. There was a busload of tourists that lined up at the front door. The parking lot had the usual strange array of weirdoes, underage Fang Bangers, and Goth kids hanging around. I felt the sensation of happiness spreading through me, and my libido level jumped to the power of 10. Eric was close by. The beat of the music could be heard all the way out to my car. It added to my excitement. As I walked closer, I recognized the tune as INXS's, "Suicide Blond." I liked that song but for some unknown reason the title bothered me. I always substituted the words "soup and salad bar" instead. I enjoyed dancing to that song as long as it was about food, rather than a blond haired person who was death.

I didn't recognize the vampire who was running the front door. He looked about 30 when he was turned. He was swarthy, handsome, with black curly hair to his shoulders, and about my height. When I walked to the front of the line to introduce myself he invaded my personal space and inhaled deeply. He looked directly into my eyes and mentally started pushing into my mind. I easily kicked him out of my brain. He looked me over and gave me the rudest eye-fuck.

Before I could speak, I was jerked inside the building. He hadn't closed the door to the maintenance closet when Eric loomed above us both. He yanked the smaller vampire off me and grabbed his head with both hands. He grabbed the vampire's ear and tore it off his head.

The vampire howled in pain. Eric slammed him into the shelves, which created an avalanche of cleaning supplies down on my head. He growled into the vampire's face as the smaller vampire flailed pitifully against him.

"I told you to safely escort my wife in. I did not say anything about devouring her."

"You destroyed my fucking ear!"

Eric spoke quietly but with a lethal tone. "Be thankful for that mercy. If you ever disobey me again, I shall tear off all your limbs and use you as a talking doorstop. Do not ever disobey me."

The vampire put his hand over the bloody spot on his head. "Yes, Master. I am sorry. My hunger got the best of me."

"If that was your best, I suggest you look for other employment. You are young, Alphonse. Therefore, I only gave you a warning. Step out of line once more and there will be no warning."

"Yes, Master. May I go home to feed and sleep?

"No. Go get a bottled blood and resume your duties at the front door. Your condition will thrill the breathers."

"Yes, Master."

The young vampire squatted down and fumbled about until he found his ear. He dusted it off and put it in his pocket. He walked out into the bar holding his bloody head. I wondered if he could sew the ear to his head and it would reattach, or whether he would have to grow a new ear.

"Eric, what the bloody hell happened?"

Eric took me by the arm and led me towards his office. All the employees in the service area openly stared at us. He glared at them, and they put their heads down and scurried away. Everyone would know about this event in a couple of minutes.

"Victor instructed me to bring you here tonight. Clearly, I did not think it through."

"Okay, but why did that fellow grab me?"

"Sookie, since your trip into Fae realm your Fairy essence seems to be more pronounced. There is a light sweet scent of Fae unmistakably present. Though, it is not enough to send a vampire into a crazed attack, even if he is a young vampire who lacks self-control. Alphonse is a spy, and a rather stupid one. He was testing you to see what you are, and if you could defend yourself."

Quietly he added, "I should have killed him to send a message, but I cannot afford the waste of time his final death would demand."

"Testing me, why? What meeting is this? Why does Victor wish to see me?"

"I will tell you about it later. Victor shall explain why he asked to see you."

Eric stopped at the door and put on a smile, but I could feel his tension. We walked into his office, where Victor was reclining in Eric's chair with his feet up on the desk. He was looking at a file folder and had a rather smug expression on his face.

Victor sat up. "Ms. Stackhouse, it is so good of you to come on such short notice. You look exquisite, as always. Please come in."

I nodded and took the seat closest to the door. I said nothing about him being so presumptuous as to take over Eric's office while Eric was there.

Victor smiled, "No need to worry, dear. I will not grab you. Though, I do understand why Eric finds you appealing." He gave me a nauseating wink.

"Come sit closer, so you might see these photos. Let's talk."

I moved to the chair directly in front of the desk and looked over at the 8 by 10 color glossy photos he had been looking at. My heart jumped when I saw the subject matter. Victor was observing me. Apparently, that was the reaction he had been looking for.

"These photos were forwarded to me the other evening. I was surprised, as was Filipe De Castro, to see such tiny creatures actually exist."

He slid the photos over the desk to me. I glanced through them, but I didn't need to. I had seen them before. They were photos documenting the Pixie and Bill first meet-n-greet. I knew those photos would come back to bite me on the butt.

Speaking of butt, one photo got my attention. Something I had missed the first time. In the final shot where the Pixies proudly posed on top of Bill's bare backside, someone had drawn two large eyes on each of Bill's cheeks and a smile across both cheeks. They had turned the vampire butt into a big, white, happy face. My face flushed with embarrassment for Bill, followed quickly by anger. My flush seemed to please Victor. He licked his lips and inhaled.

In the corner of the eye, I saw Eric had stood up and approached me. Victor continued, "These little creatures were only supposed to be the stuff of children's fables. We spoke to Mr. Compton and he confessed to us that they do exist. He believes they might have come from the Fae world, and now they reside here in Louisiana; in my territory." I noticed he omitted Eric out of that statement.

The photos were mortifying; I understood why Bill had no qualms about telling Victor about the Pixies. Of all people, Tall Oak should understand that payback is times two. Eric and Victor laughed and were in agreement over what a zero of a vampire Bill was. How he allowed such ridiculous little creatures to capture him was incomprehensible. I felt my anger reaching a low burn.

"So Ms. Stackhouse is it true, do these tiny creatures live with you?"

I looked at Eric, and he nodded. I looked back down at the photo of Tall Oak and Grinslade posed proudly in their red leather breeches. All cut from Eric's Corvette upholstery. I felt a sinking in my stomach, events were about to get away from me again. I was losing my cherished illusion of control over my life.

"These are not cute creatures; these people are called 'The True People of the Trees.' They don't live with me, but they do live on my land."

"Excellent! I wish to employ them. They will be a huge moneymaker for Louisiana. I believe people would pay a great deal of money to see them perform and amuse audiences. We can dress them in funny costumes, and that huge pig can have a matching costume. The human children would love that. I can see an entire amusement park dedicated to them, Magical Pixie Land. Just think of the amazing movies these creatures will make." He chuckled, "We will wipe that cartoon mouse off the face of the earth."

I thought about Tall Oak's reaction to the proposition of performing for audiences of children. My stomach twisted when I thought about Grinslade's reaction. "I'm not so sure that's a good idea. They're kind-a touchy…"

Eric was standing next to me. He put his large hand on my shoulder and stopped me. "Sookie, don't worry. I am sure the Pixies will be treated fairly and paid a percentage of the revenue."

I couldn't believe Eric just pooh-poohed me, how condescending. "Eric, I'm not talking about money. I don't think the Pixies will cotton to show business. They can be hostile..."

Eric cut me off. "I am sure they will see what a marvelous opportunity this is for everyone. Besides, they are simple creatures with simple needs. I think with proper management," he nodded towards Victor, "they should thrive. All you have to do is feed them, and they will do whatever you want. They should perform nicely." I couldn't believe the words "Perform nicely" had been used regarding the Pixies.

Victor smiled and clapped his hands. "Excellent! Eric, I must get back to New Orleans immediately, but I want to meet these little creatures very soon. I wish to introduce them to a group of investors in New Orleans. People will come from all over the world to see these little creatures, and New Orleans must be ready to receive them. Therefore, a considerable investment shall be needed.

"Eric, Felipe might wish to move the Pixies to Las Vegas. We must convince him why it is in his best interest to keep them with me, in New Orleans."

Eric nodded. "Absolutely."

I knew Eric wanted me to shut up. I gave Victor one of my trademark ditzy smiles and just nodded to everything he said. I could be a team player. The question was- Would the Pixies be team players? Victor scheduled a tentative date in the near future when I was to show up with the Pixies.

Once Victor left, we waited before leaving Fangtasia. Eric traded car keys with ear-less Alphonse. We slipped out the back door and got into a late model Honda that was littered with trash and a child's car seat. Why would a vampire have a child's car seat in his car? I did not want to think about it. We drove around until Eric was sure we were not being followed.

Eric was feeling paranoid, so his home was out of the question. Normally he would go to ground, but with me tagging along, he did the next best thing and went to Hilton. The vampire suite décor was unbelievably dark. I figured it was almost as dark as going to ground, only with a Jacuzzi.

We were both very eager to relieve our pent up stress. There wasn't much love in our lovemaking, but fast and rough can also have its good moments. Eric was able to relax more afterwards. He stroked my back while he explained his earlier behavior. He said that it would be deadly for him not be a yes-man to every stupid idea that Victor uttered. The status quo in the vampire world was once again in turmoil.

The Louisiana takeover had cost De Castro far more money than he anticipated. All the Sheriffs who were killed during the last coup had surviving makers. The makers took De Castro to the Vampire's National Council where they successfully argued that they should be paid more money than the normal restitution for the death of their children. They were able to prove that they were earning incomes from their children and were, for all practical purposes, in business together. The court made a radical decision and sided with the makers. De Castro not only had to shell out the normal fees for killing a child, but also had to compensate the makers for loss of future income. Since vampires do not die of natural causes, the amount was considerable.

Additionally, De Castro found many of Sophie-Anne's businesses to be in disarray and awash in red ink. Louisiana, as a whole, was sucking money faster than it was making. Coupled with the post Katrina problems that lingered; it made Louisiana's golden Fleur-de-lis turn into a pig-in-a-poke.

On top of that, there were rumors that De Castro's businesses had over-extended in Las Vegas, and casino revenues were off. There were signs that other kingdoms were watching and testing De Castro's regime. De Castro's very survival depended solidifying his kingdom and putting his finances back in the black.

Felipe was looking to Victor to make it happen in Louisiana. Victor was looking to his Sheriffs to make it happen. The Sheriff in bed with me was looking to me to make the Pixies happen. The more I heard about all this, the more I thought about a sunny beach, where only a Margarita might happen.


	4. Chapter 4

_I apologize for all the grammatical errors you will see in the following chapters. This chapter and the remaining chapters have not been proofed by a Beta. The errors were not due to lack of trying just the lack of smarts. I am still working on how to fix that. _

**Chapter 4**

The next day at Merlotte's was rather slow, so I had extra time to help Sam organize our back storage room. He was very upbeat and told me about his new girlfriend. Apparently, they met while he was shopping at a restaurant supply store. On their first date, she took him to a Salsa club that had just opened in Shreveport. The live music was fabulous, and she taught him how to Salsa dance. He said several times how much fun they had.

I immediately wanted to go. Learning to Salsa dance would have been so much fun! The thought of double dating crossed my mind, but I immediately dismissed the idea. Would Eric approve of me mamboing my posterior around a dance floor? Would he enjoy spending an evening with Sam? As I contemplated Eric's reactions, a thought started to form in my head. I steadied myself, and waited for it to hit. Bam_;_ _a 1000-year-old vampire was probably not great boyfriend material_. Okay, no great revelation there, but why was I considering it at this late date?

As I wrapped up my chores, I wondered what would be the best way to ask the Pixies if they would go to New Orleans and meet Victor. I needed to act quickly, because we were scheduled to be in New Orleans soon. There was no Salsa music at my house, but maybe a little Pixie party was in order. I searched through Sam's micro-brews looking for mead but found nothing. _How would a shot of rum in a Dr. Pepper taste?_ Fortunately, I came to my senses and changed my mind. I must have been desperate to consider giving alcohol to Pixies.

After work I swung by a little pizzeria that had opened in Bill's shopping center. No frozen pizzas for this party; I splurged and ordered two large uncooked "Mega Meaty Meat" pizzas. On a sudden impulse, I stopped at the Wal-Mart and grabbed a box of cupcakes with extra sprinkles. My plan had three parts: Stuff the little toots silly, followed quickly by begging them to go to New Orleans to hear Victor's proposal. There was not really a third part, unless you consider all the praying I will be doing.

The part about Victor's proposition worried me. I noticed while speaking to Victor, that he sort of skipped the part where he asks the Pixies if they are willing to participate. He had told Eric and me that it would happen, so there was no need for further discussion. I had no delusions that I could force the Ironwood clan to do something they didn't want to do. If they said no, then Victor would just have to get-over-it. If Tall Oak informs Victor that he can stick his Magical Pixie Land in his stinking blood-hole, it might be a good time to take an extended vacation in Mexico. I have never been to Mexico before. I bet they have great music down there. Male Latinos were known for preferring their women to be full figured and blond. I should fit right in. Maybe I could get a job at a fabulous tropical beach resort. It occurred to me that tanning on a tropical beach had been in my thoughts a lot lately. There seemed to be a pattern, the more stressed I was, the more I daydreamed about sun tanning. Were sun-induced endorphins my favorite form of escapism, or was it some sort of Sky Fae thing?

When I got home, I turned on Gran's old kitchen radio to a Latino station and danced around the kitchen. I don't think the station was actually Salsa music. It sounded like Mexican brass band playing polka music. But it lightened my mood, and I had fun. As I placed the pizza in the oven, I enjoyed a few daydreams of my new exciting life in an exotic tropical paradise. I practiced all twelve Spanish words that I knew, followed by a few new Spanish names for me. A new life would require a new name. I decided on the name, Carmen.

Junior was watching me as I danced, but mostly he was staring at the Mega Meaty Meat Pizza. I set the timer above the oven, and informed him his name would be changed to Juan. He gave me a scowling look, turned with his tail held high, and indignantly walked out of the kitchen. I felt a mind tickle; he had just refused to go to Mexico. Wait a minute, how does a strange hybrid cat know anything about Mexico?

Grit's loud tapping on my kitchen window interrupted my tropical paradise fantasy. She was grinning ear to ear, and waving at me enthusiastically. I stepped outside, and invited her and her entire clan to come eat dinner. Pizza was on the menu. Her eyes got big, and she opened her mouth as if to say something, but was cut off when she vanished. I guess that meant okay.

The timer went off, and I pulled the hot pizza out of the oven. I took it outside and placed it on the picnic table. The Pixies were arriving quickly now. The Dr. Pepper was poured into numerous small Dixie cups to avoid conflicts. Grinslade appeared on the picnic table, as I was cutting the pizza. He was dressed in several layers of clothing. It looked as though he tried to wear every piece of clothing he owned; maybe he had.

"Suckie, why are you feeding us? What is the reason?"

"I thought you would enjoy it." That was the truth.

"Hey y'all, there's plenty for everyone, so I don't want to see any fighting. There is a second pizza in the oven, and it will be ready soon. Here's more Dr. Pepper."

As I was cutting the pizza into tiny bite sizes, I spotted an older child stealing the pizza from a toddler. "Hey, you! Yes, you with that fuzzy yellow thing on your head. Is that a fishing lure? If you don't let the children eat there will be no second pizza or dessert for anyone."

Tall Oak appeared beside the youth, and gave him a hard thump on top of the head with his fist.

"Stop stealing and fighting or I will hit you so hard you will have to pull down your pants to talk."

Tall Oak snatched the pizza out of the youth's hands, and shoved it into his own mouth while ignoring the crying Pixie child. He disappeared and reappeared next to me. He picked up some pizza that had a big chunk of meat on top. He managed to stuff the entire thing in his mouth. "Airy ooood."

"Don't speak with your mouth full. It's gross, and I can't understand you."

After much chewing, he continued. "I said, very good and such a surprise. What might be the reason for this unexpected generosity?"

"Have some more pizza, Tall Oak. Oh, look. Here's a really big greasy pepperoni."

The Pixies looked like piranhas tearing into the first pizza, and the second pizza was consumed almost as fast. Once there were only crust bones left, I brought out the cupcakes. The Pixies had never seen colorful sprinkles on top of a dessert before; they were impressed. The children tried to save the sprinkles and decorated their faces with them. I figured different favors of cupcakes would cause a brawl. Therefore, all the cupcakes were vanilla with white icing. Once they had consumed the cupcakes, and were licking the sticky icing off the lid of the box, it was time for me to deliver my sales pitch.

"Hey y'all, listen up. You know Eric, my boyfriend. Well, he has a boss who would like to speak to you about the possibility of working for him. He has some great ideas about how to make a lot of money. Money is currency that will allow you to buy pizza and fizzy drink."

Tall Oak appeared next to me, "Suckie, we understand what currency is. Why should we work for a vampire or anybody else for that matter?" He spat off the picnic table. "We are an independent people. I come from a hundred generations of noble warriors and hunters."

"That's a good question which only Eric's boss, Victor can answer. This is a different world than where y'all come from. I'm sure you want your children to have all the food and comforts that other folks have. All I ask is that you go to New Orleans, which is about a day's drive from here, and listen to Victor's offer about working for him. And please keep an open mind."

"Open mind? I prefer my mind to be enclosed by scull bone. I would rather not have it opened."

"Tall Oak, just try to be receptive to new ideas."

"But of course. (Belch) Mother?"

Slender Willow had her sturdy little body sprawled out on the greasy pizza tray. She picked her teeth while watching a couple of kids joust with the crust leftovers.

"Shall we be fed, or must we fend for ourselves?"

"I'm sure all meals will be furnished."

"That sounds reasonable." She nodded at Tall Oak, and returned to picking her teeth. He casually stated, "It shall be." He turned his head and spat and stomped his foot.

That surprised me. I thought we were going to have a long drawn out discussion. I even had ice cream in the freezer just in case they started to leave before I was finished giving them my pitch.

"Okay, great. I'll tell Eric."

Tall Oak spoke up. "Since we will be traveling in a large mechanical carriage, we shall need traveling supplies to make our stay more comfortable. It's for the women and children."

That threw me. "Traveling? Yes, I guess we'll be taking a vehicle. I hadn't thought about it. Will you be taking all the clan members including the children with you?"

"Oh yes, everyone must hear the proposition first hand. We shall all attend."

"Okay. What kind of traveling supplies do you need?"

"We have many requirements in order to travel comfortably. I have written down a list of items. Please, give this list to the vampire, Eric."

I looked at the tiny note, but I could not read it. It was written in a different language. It appeared to be a list with numbers. I was baffled. When did he write this? Since when did they have lots of special needs in order to travel? I shook my head. If these guys do become famous, they will be insufferable divas.

The next day, I told Sam that Eric and I would be going out of town. Fortunately, I had a break in my shift. If everything goes smoothly, we would be back before I inconvenienced Sam. He agreed to feed Junior while I was gone. He commented that he had wanted to meet my new cat. Coming from anyone other than a shape shifter, that was just a polite comment. I wondered if he would roam the woods together.

I did not feel comfortable telling Sam why Eric and I were going to New Orleans. I know he would not have approved. Since I had gotten tight with Eric, I felt like my friendship with Sam was becoming more distant. I hated that.

Eric made no mention of reimbursement for my lost wages, and did not tell me to purchase any new clothing for the event. I would just have to get by with what was in my closet. I figured why buy new clothing when this meeting would be brief and bound to fail. Earlier, I tried to talk to Eric about what we were going to do if the Pixies refused, but he never answered my questions.

The morning of our departure quickly arrived. Bobby Burnham, showed up with a full sized van to drive us down to New Orleans. Eric had already left the previous night. Bobby had to shift several trunks and large boxes of "Pixie paraphernalia" to make room for my suitcase. I could not imagine what they needed that was so heavy and taking up so much space. Bobby opened one of the boxes, and pulled out large soft pillows to line the van seats for the clan to sit on. I was about to comment on what happens when you give the True People an inch when I spotted a few whispering and eyeing Bobby. I snapped my fingers and gave the conspiring group a stern, "No." They just gave me innocent and confused looks.

Surprisingly, Bobby was not shocked to see Pixies. Nor did he give me his usual snippy attitude, or bombard me with his negative crap. He mostly thought about what an important mission he was on, and how honored he was to be selected for it. Mmm, weird. He was not on the NASA space flight; he was fluffing pillows for 6-inch beings. He should have a different reaction than that. He unwrapped a couple of Moon Pies, popped open a Big Red soda without a single thought about how bizarre his situation was. I rummaged around in his head, and sensed that he had been glamoured. He stopped working for a moment and glanced up at me. He hit me with a thought. _Gosh, she's almost as beautiful as Pam, but not as smart. I hope Pam found her traveling accommodations satisfactory_.

Oh yea, he had been glamoured, a bunch. It was not hard to figure who had glamoured him. At one time, that would have upset me. I would have snatched up my cell phone and left a few indignant voice mails on Eric and Pam's voice mail. But now, I can see how a little mind alteration might actually improve Bobby's quality of life, and it certainly helps mine.

As we hit the interstate, the Pixies devoured their Moon Pies, and drank Big Red until they all had red mustaches up to the eyebrows. Watching them eat was kind of gross, but mostly it was amazing. How could such tiny beings consume such huge quantities of food was beyond me. They followed their junk food binge with a nap. While they dozed, I was able to examine the little troop closer.

There were 23 adults and teens, and 9 kids. I noticed Grit was missing and there were no babies, so some of the Pixies stayed home.

Their clothing had evolved since arriving in Bon Temps. There were no more beat up grass hula skirts. They now wore pants, long shorts, kilts/skirts, and topped with tunics or vests. Men and women seemed to be dressed the same. They all wore moccasin style shoes or boots. The leathers and fabrics were a colorful hodgepodge. They also incorporated plastics, and colored string into their attires. They seemed to be copying the styles of human clothing only with their own strange fashion twist. Give them a few years, and Tall Oak will be wearing a pinstriped suit or a sundress.

The trip was amazingly calm considering the group. The children mostly played games on the floorboard and van seats while the adults napped or talked quietly amongst themselves. They helped me learn their names, but I was a failure at reciting all their family ties to each other.

I watched the children play, but I never figured out their game. One game seemed to morph into another, and the rules constantly changed. Their play toys looked like stuff you would find in most junk drawers. They were using the clutter as weapons, obstacles, and trophies. A few of the adults would occasionally join in the games, and instructed the children on the finer points. If a child had a melt down, or the play got out of hand, one of the adults appeared and knocked heads. They would referee until the children returned to proper mayhem.

We finally arrived to New Orleans and checked into our hotel that night. We were staying on one of the human floors of the hotel, and the Pixies were in a room that adjoined mine. Bobby rolled their heavy trunk into their room, as I instructed them to knock on the door between the rooms if they needed me. As I was walking out of their room I heard a glass break, but I kept walking. I did not even get my suitcase opened when my cell phone rang; it was Eric. Victor wanted to see the Pixies immediately. I was to gather the group together, and take them to the exclusive vampire suite on the top floor.

There was no time for me to change clothes. I knocked on the Pixies' door, and told them to get ready that we would have to meet Victor in ten minutes. I rushed back to my room, brushed my teeth, and powdered my nose. When I stepped back into the Pixie's room, their change in appearance surprised me. About half of them were in their old raggedy hula skirts. They had newspaper ponchos and scraps of trash as clothing. They looked more comical than when I met them the first time in the wastelands of the Fae world.

"Tall Oak, you have better clothes. Why are y'all dressed that way? We're going to go see Victor, Eric's boss. I thought you would want to umm… dress up a bit more."

"We think our native clothing is nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, our wondrous talents will shine through no matter the garb. Come now Suckie, let us go meet the stinking dead who walk."

I dropped down to my fours, and looked at him in the eyes. "Tall Oak, I don't know what you have up your sleeve, but you'd better stop. You're gonna get us in a lot of trouble if you piss him off."

He flapped his bare arms at me. "I have no sleeves silly hugeman. Let us not keep the big dead man waiting. We don't want him to piss himself." The group giggled and whispered. My stress level jumped even higher.

We took the elevator to the top floor, and the Pixies really enjoyed the ride. The children were excited and chittered nonstop. Several of the kids were singing little songs and dancing. A vampire working security greeted us as we stepped off the elevator. He looked like a classic security guard, dark suit, dark glasses, and radio earpiece in his ear.

He looked down at the Pixies and chuckled. "Wow, I can't believe they're real! That's amazing. They're so little and funny looking."

Grinslade who had been mostly quiet and sullen through the trip spoke up. "Of course, we are real; you putrid piece of maggotity meat. Shall I cut your stinking tongue out, and shove it up your nose to convince you?"

Tall Oak stepped out of the group. "Excuse him, sir. He has had little exposure to this world. We are indeed real. See?"

He jumped up and landed on the Grinslade's shoulders. The vampire laughed, and turned to speak into his radio. "Hey Arty, they're here. Get this, they're real!"

The radio responded, "Well, bring them to us. Victor said to escort them in immediately."

Fortunately, the vampire was not looking down as Grinslade knocked Tall Oak to the ground. Three Pixies fell on Grinslade punching him. I stepped in front of the tiny brawlers, as the guard escorted us down the hallway.

"Wow, they are really small and cute. We heard that Pixies existed, but I didn't believe it. I thought they would be dwarfs."

"Yes, isn't it great?" I smiled big trying to keep his attention, so he would not notice some of the residual punching and shoving.

The vampire guard who was standing in front of the door must've been Arty. He looked down at the Pixies and looked stunned. He did not say a word. He knocked on the door, and then opened the double doors wide for us. Tall Oak motioned for me to stand back. The entire group ran and tumbled through the doors. Some of them turned cartwheels or flips. Others scurried up and down the furniture like rats on speed. They were a mass of tiny tornadoes.

There was a group of vampires sitting in the large plush living room. They stopped their conversations and stared at the Pixies doing acrobatics. They froze and looked positively shocked.

The Pixie children ran up to the closest female vampire and sang their greetings, and somersaulted to the tip of her shoes. The vampire had a frown on her face, and a very serious air about her. She looked like she had not smiled in over a century. When one of the smallest Pixies tried to bow, but fell over his feet onto her shoe, she broke into a big buck-toothed grin.

"Amazing! They're real! Victor you are going to be one rich son-of-a-bitch. Humans are going to go wild for them. Actually, I would like to own one myself. It would be great entertainment for a party."

Tall Oak and the rest of his clan bowed. I scanned the group of vampires, and found Eric and Pam sitting in the corner of the room. Eric's face was unreadable; he only glanced at me before returning his gaze to the other vampires. Pam waved at me, and gave me a big smile. But it was not an "I'm so happy" smile; it was kind of a creepy disturbing smile.

Victor squatted down to look closer at the troop. He breathed in their smell and stood up. "Yes, these creatures are definitely from the Fae world. Do they have any magical powers or abilities?"

Eric responded, "Unfortunately, their magic is negligible in our world. But they have extraordinary physical abilities for creatures their size. They can perform amazing acrobatics and tricks."

Victor stood as Tall Oak scrambled up a nearby table. They made their introductions, though Victor did not bother to introduce anyone else in the room. He briefly spoke to Tall Oak, but he spoke to him as if he was a child. He turned and started addressing all his comments to Eric, as though the Pixies were not there. Victor wanted to show them to a group of investors and banking officials. He looked over the motley hula looking group.

"We are going to need better costumes than this." He snapped his fingers at the vampire who opened the doors.

"Arty, we need new costumes. Make sure all the pixies have great costumes. They must be flashy and fantasy oriented. None of this grass skirt crap. This show is about Magical Pixie Land not a fucking Luau.

"Also, it will be hilarious if a couple of Pixies ride on the back of a pig. Like the pig, we saw in the photo only much cuter. Stan, you are to find them some cute pigs." I wondered how someone shops for "cute" pigs.

Victor continued his brainstorming. "Maybe someone can lead the pig around while the Pixies do tricks on its back."

As he blathered on, I noticed that the discussion where Victor asks Tall Oak if he and his clan might be interested in working for him never happened. I looked at the Pixies' faces, but they were bland. They had their arms crossed as they listened to plans being made without their involvement. Only Grinslade was red faced and appeared livid.

As Victor wrapped up the meeting, Tall Oak spoke up. Victor turned back around to look at him. "Sir, we shall have a much smarter routine choreographed by tomorrow. We can also sing. It will be a memorable event for one and all."

"Great. Eric, make sure they have whatever they need to pull off a great show. Arty and my people are at your disposal. These little guys are better than I expected. I need to leave to meet with marketing consultants. I also have an appointment with real estate agents to look at some land that would make a great amusement park."

He looked back down at the clan. "See you little fellows tomorrow! Make me proud!"

Victor snapped his fingers that ended in a finger gun pointing at the Pixies. The entire clan made the same motion back at him, which made the vampires laugh. Grinslade was standing away from the group scowling. He made a raspberry sound followed by a gesture that was unmistakable in any language.

Pam stood and spoke to Victor, while Eric quickly herded us out of the room, down the hall, and into the waiting elevator. The Pixie adults were quiet in the elevator while the children chittered. One Pixie child began to skip around in a circle and sang a song.

"Victor was a rotten old cod.

He stank like a dead man's rod.

He fell into a hole

And was impaled by a pole

And now he's an ashy cabob."

I looked down at the little performer. He had such an innocent sweet face, as he continued to skip and dance around the elevator.

"Where did you hear that?"

"I just made it up. Do you want to hear another?"

"Nope."

"There once was a girl named Sookie.

With a big vamp she liked to nookie.

As she said with a grin.."

Slender Willow snatched up the tot by the arm, and swatted him on his backside. She scolded the little Pixie. "I told you that I am tired of that song. If you can't come up with a new Sookie song then shut it."

I hit the elevator button a couple more times, trying to speed up the elevator. I got a glimpse of Eric's expression as we walked out of the elevator. At least he was having a good time.

Once we were back in the Pixie's room, they all started talking at once. I shushed everyone and picked up the telephone looking under it for anything that appeared suspicious. The Pixies immediately caught on and spread out to help search the rooms.

I was peering under an end table when to my surprise I spotted Grit. She was crouched down and hiding. Her face lit up when she saw me. She grinned and put her finger to her lips. I wondered what she was doing, but decided to humor her and stayed quiet.

The Pixies gave Eric three electronic bugs, a dismantled alarm clock, and a trashed coffee maker. Eric talked into the bugs saying the normal stuff about getting ready for a show. He turned on the TV in the living room, and placed the bugs next to it. We left the noisy Pixie children playing in the living room while the rest of us went into the bedroom.

Eric sat down on the bed and loosened his tie. "As you probably guessed Sookie, Tall Oak knew what to expect from Victor, and understood that his options were limited."

A female Pixie standing on a television chimed in, "The vampire is not the first to think small size means small intelligence. To him we are nothing more than childish toys, and only good for amusement. The filth..."

Slender Willow cut in. "Many a Pixie has spent their miserable lives entertaining the Fae High Court, but none were from the Ironwood Clan."

Grinslade was punching his fist into his hand. "And many a Fae has regretted underestimating the True People of the Trees." He spat on the floor.

Tall Oak was standing on the bed; I squatted down on the floor to address him. "Okay, I gather the speech you made to Victor was a farce. You don't intend to become performers."

Tall Oak pulled off his newspaper poncho. "Not while I breathe." He spat on the bed. I made a mental note to talk to them about the spitting. He continued, "We shall play the vampire's game judiciously. If we learn there are Pixies in Ireland, we shall quietly disappear. But only once you are no longer part of the venture."

"If you were to disappear, I'm not so sure Victor will give up on his Magical Pixie Land so quickly. Gosh Tall Oak, I cannot believe you are so calm and rational about such a dilemma. I figured you would come out fighting."

Slender Willow appeared next to Tall Oak. "We have not lived this long under the filthy Fae by always fighting. We had to use our heads too. Sometimes quietly disappearing was our only option. We shall leave when the time is right."

Tall Oak took her hand in his and kissed it. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He had a sad look on his face.

"Eric, they will be okay won't they?"

Eric nodded. "Oh yes, they are very valuable to Victor right now. He will not hurt them. I told him that the Pixies are looking forward to this new business opportunity.

"Sookie, I have several matters that I have to attend to and must leave. It is late, and you must be tired from all your travel."

Eric and I left the Pixies whispering amongst themselves. Eric walked me to my hotel door and kissed me. Before he disappeared, he said to enjoy myself at the hotel tomorrow. Everything was on the house, compliments of Victor.

Sweet! I knew just what I wanted to do.


	5. Chapter 5

_I apologize for the grammatical errors you will be seeing in this final chapter. A Beta reader has not proofed the chapter, and I am grammatically challenged. _

**Chapter 5**

I woke up to a loud thud that came from the Pixie's room. I looked at the clock, and was surprised to see it was close to noon. I had not slept well last night due to worrying about the Pixies. I got up and chugged some coffee, and quickly put on my swimsuit and cover up. I had a date with a very posh hotel pool. I figured it would not hurt to get a couple of hours of tanning in before it was time to introduce the Pixies.

I knocked on the Pixies door. When they opened the door, the scene took my breath away. The room was in shambles. It looked as though a whirlwind had hit the room. Furniture was broken, lamps were knocked over, artwork was off the walls, and there were tiny dirty footprints everywhere. There was food, trash, candy wrappers, and empty soda cans scattered about. Amongst the trash were dolls, and colorful little costumes scattered around the room. The three Pixie children who opened the door for me had their faces painted black, and they appeared to be middle of tying another pixie child to a leg of a table.

Grinslade was the only adult Pixie in the room. He was reclining on stained couch pillows. There were empty beer cans scattered around him. He was watching a dirty movie on TV. Two Barbie dolls sat on either side of him. They were almost double his size, and they were naked. One Barbie had her vinyl hand down his grass skirt. I walked over and turned off the TV.

"What in the world is going on here?"

"Nothing; (belch) the party's over."

I looked up and saw tiny footprints on the ceiling. "Oh Lord, what a mess; I didn't know y'all were going to have a party."

"That's because we did not invite you. You're a _Mean Mommy _and no fun." In an exaggerated southern accent he mimicked me, "Y'all can't eat the cat! Y'all can't beat the Fairy! Y'all can't bugger the vampire!

I was really furious at the little toad, but knew he was trying to get me riled up. I tried to play it cool.

"Ouch, Grinslade. Harsh. I thought more of you than this."

"Don't. Suckie, if you follow all the rules, you'll never have any fun."

"Yea, right; like trashing a room is great fun. Did Bobby bring you all these snacks?"

"No, we got hungry after dinner and gathered our own snacks. We come from a _zillion_ generations of noble hunters and gathers. We found the goodies in large metal boxes next to the stairs."

"They're called vending machines. Taking those snacks without paying was stealing."

"You call it stealing, and I call it gathering. Whatever."

I picked up a Barbie doll. "Mmph. Did you _gather_ all these dolls too?"

"No, a vampire brought us costumes to wear for our performance." The Pixie waved his hand at the boxes. "He could not have costumes made on such short notice, so he bought every doll he could find. We can use their clothing, since we are as small and cute as dolls." He spat, but it did not clear his large furry belly.

He reached up, and gave his plastic female companion a tweak on her nipple-less boob. "Meet my new sweeties, Lucky and Suaaa.. Lucky's twin sister."

Embarrassment and anger made my face flush. "Damn, you're one twisted little perv., Grinslade."

I picked up a few boxes of dolls and read, "Barbie, a fashion fairy tale; Barbie, Sparkle Lights Fairy; Barbie; Fashion Fairy Toes." I looked at the pretty sparkly dolls verses Grinslade as he scratched his furry potbelly. He was covered head to toe in food and crumbs. I tossed the boxes down. _It's_ _no wonder childhood dreams don't come true. Children are fed a bunch of sugarcoated crap. And Fairy tales are the ultimate crap. _

High-pitched shrieks interrupted my thoughts. I turned around to see the Pixie children were running through the room with a Barbie head. They appeared to be playing some sort of rugby game. Several naked and beheaded Barbies were set up rather obscenely to be goal posts.

One of the smaller Pixie kids was lying on a pile of Barbie costumes hugging a section of a Kit Kat bar. He was half-asleep, and had his leg draped over it. He drooled on a corner of the candy bar.

I had enough. "Well, I'm outta here. I'm going to the pool to soak up some sun and swim. Do as you please, since that's what you do anyways. Just remember tonight is important."

I hung the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the Pixie's door, and stomped down the hallway toward the elevators. I was thoroughly pissed over the wrecked room and the stealing, but what really hurt was Grinslade telling me that I was "mean mommy" and "no fun." I am not mean or not too mean. I fumed over it a while. Maybe around them, I felt like I always had to be the responsible one. When was the last time I got to be the irresponsible one and have some fun?

I lounged by the pool for the rest of the day. When I got thirsty or hungry, a waiter brought me whatever I wanted. I signed it all to my room, and I was a _big_ tipper. I read a pure smut romance novel, and flirted with some guys who were visiting the "Big Easy" for a convention. I told them I was a college student at LSU, and I majored in drama. The hotel staff brought me fresh towels and set up a huge umbrella once I had enough sun. A manicurist gave me a poolside mani and pedi. The polish I selected was an electric red with flowers painted on my toenails. Now, would a dull person do that? Okay, maybe I was a little dull.

Once the sun had set, I closed my book and went back to my room. There were no sounds coming from the Pixie's room. I cleaned up and blowed dried my long blond hair out to be very straight. I pulled on a simple, low cut, short black dress that I got from Macy's for half off. I put on my flat black sandals, and critiqued the results in the mirror. _Nice, but no big deal._ I kicked off my comfy flats and put on some bright red high heels. I had bought them at Shoe World during a big sale. Tara called these types of shoes "fuck me" shoes. "Mean mommy" just got traded up for "hot mama." Hopefully, I would not have to do much walking. I had just put a comb and red lipstick in my tiny bag when Eric called.

"Hello, my lovely sun goddess. I heard you had a relaxing day by the pool-side."

"Why, yes. I was pampered, slavered in oil, and baked until tender and brown."

"Mmm.. You are making me hungry."

"That was my goal. Are you going to come pick me up?"

"No, I can not, so I sent a car. The driver is waiting for you in the lobby. The True People are already here going over their routine. We will be in one of the smaller banquet rooms at De Castro's entertainment compound. You have been here before; it is where we had a fun game of bowling for vampires."

That was when Wybert's head (minus his body) landed right next to me. "Yes, how could I forget? I'm not sure it was much fun, but it was memorable."

He chuckled, "Yes, that was one of the times when I saved your life."

"I remember events a bit differently, but you did tackle me."

"Yea, that was a great party, but there is no need for you to worry about tonight. This will be a small group of VIP's who were invited to see Victor's new business venture."

After speaking with Eric, I hurried down to meet the driver. As the car entered the compound, I noticed the buildings were not completely restored to their pre-Katrina beauty. Much of the landscape had died. There were a few places that looked like construction had started but had been abandoned. I figured De Castro had not been able to pick up where Sophie Ann had left off. Times were indeed tough.

The driver dropped me off at the door, and I was directed by one of Victor's security guards to the "Blue Room." It was a banquet room with a deep blue carpet and a small dance floor in the middle. Tables were set up around the dance floor. There were humans running around setting up audio and lighting equipment.

_What happened to the Pixies just doing a few cartwheels?_ _This looked like a real show was going to take place. _The group of vampires that I had seen earlier in the hotel room were milling about, networking with other vampires who I had not seen before. I counted twelve voids and fifteen humans in the audience. I walked over to the bar, and ordered a gin and tonic. I stood there regretting my high-heeled shoes, and listened to the human grey matter, but there was nothing worth repeating.

I saw a couple more vampires walk into the room; it was Bill and Liz. I waved and they came over to speak to me. Bill gave me a peck on my cheek and much to my surprise, so did Liz. She seemed excited, "It is so good to finally meet you Sookie. I have heard so much about you. I feel as though I know you already. Bill told me that you might attend this event."

"I'm very happy to meet you too. I didn't realize this was going to be an event."

Bill spoke up, "Yes, it appears that way. Several Louisiana Sheriffs and De Castro's personal assistant are here tonight to see the unveiling of the True People of the Trees. Eric asked me to attend, since I have a small role in their discovery."

"Oh, yes. Bill, I'm so sorry about those photos."

"No need to apologize. That embarrassing little event has brought me my fifteen minutes of fame." He added an awkward chuckle. "It has opened up a few doors, and helped me in ways that I would have never guessed."

Liz gushed, "That's right. As I told Bill, when life gives you lemons, just pin life to the floor and _suck it dry_! Bill has three magazines and one vampire cable show that want interviews. We plan on using this opportunity to promote our cause for rights for vampire children." She looked at Bill and smiled proudly.

Bill looked uncomfortable, "Yes well, hopefully tonight's performance will go well." He looked around the room and spotted a vampire waving at him. "Please, excuse us Sookie. We need to bend a few ears before the start of the show."

Bill turned to greet a very short male vampire. Before Liz stepped away, she hugged me and whispered into my ear. "Bill and I owe you so much. Thank you." That surprised me even more than her kissing me. Except for her smelling me, she wasn't like the typical vampire. She was not aloof or the least bit stand offish. Killing her mama must have made a good impression on her. Maybe she will come over to my house to visit, and we can watch chick flicks, or we can go shopping together.

Pam stepped into the banquet room along with a couple of Victor's security guards. I waved at her, and she waved back. She continued talking to the guards and walked out of the room with them. Everyone was very busy preparing for the event or schmoozing. I didn't want to be a bother, so I hung back and listened to human minds and observed. I felt happiness surge through me.

Suddenly, Eric appeared in front of me. His eyes were lit up and he had a grin on his face. "Lover, you look and smell _sssucculent_."

He leaned towards me as though he was going to politely kiss me, but instead playfully mouthed and slobbered all over my neck. I felt his heightened excitement as he ran his hand up my back.

"Eric, you're 1000 going on 16. Don't maul me in front of everyone."

"Okay, I'll maul you behind everyone. Actually, I would appreciate it if you would help me by sitting close to the service door. Pam and I have a few duties during the show to assist Victor in his campaign to sell the Pixies, so I must join all my fellow bloodsuckers and greedy bastards. But once the True People razzle-dazzle the investors, the audience will be directed to another room to view a Power Point presentation on Magical Pixie Land. Will you just make sure all the Pixies exit this door? Pam has her rental car parked by the door and you can take the Pixies back to their hotel suite."

"Okay, no problem. I would be glad to help. Eric, I need to tell you about the Pixies' hotel suite."

"No need; it has been handled."

He gave me a kiss, turned, and waved at another vampire sheriff across the room. I picked up my drink, went over, and sat closer to the service door. He wanted the sheriffs and investors to be up close and personal with the Pixies, while I worked as an usher. That was fine with me. I had seen more than my share of Pixie performances lately.

The lights dimmed and Victor appeared in the middle of the dance floor. He quieted the group, and everyone took their seats. After his introduction, he told the audience how much he loved New Orleans. He and De Castro were dedicated to rebuilding the city. On the outside, he may look like a practical businessman, but on the inside, he was a lover of New Orleans. He opened his expensive looking dark suit jacket to show the wild silk lining that was in Mardi gras colors of gold, green, and purple. Everyone laughed and applauded his lame joke. The humans were over animated because they were high on their self-importance and thoughts of money. Even the vampires seemed excited. The room reeked of inflated egos and avarice.

Victor explained that the show was put together just for this intimate group. It did not represent what the final production would look like once the artists, set designers, and chorographers were included. The performance was only a small personal greeting from the Pixies.

He ended it by saying, "Without further ado, I present to you my magical Pixies!"

The lights changed and a spotlight hit the dance floor. Music filled the air. A vampire came out who was dressed in a dark suit. He was wearing a pig mask and was leading a pig on a leash. The audience laughed. I immediately recognized the body build as belonging to the vampire "Arty" who was one of Victor's security guards. Tall Oak was standing on the pig's back, and he proudly presented himself. The announcer introduced Tall Oak as the "Prince of Magical Pixie Land."

A few people in the audience gasped once they realized Tall Oak was real; they broke into applause. He bowed to them and performed a stunt off the back of the pig. He landed in a group of Pixies who had joined him on the dance floor. As the pig was lead around the dance floor, the Pixies performed stunts on and off the pig.

Another vampire came out leading a second pig. I believed this vampire was the elevator security guard. He was also dressed in a dark suit, and wore a pig mask. He led a second pig around the floor going the opposite direction. The Pixies went wild doing tricks off the back of one pig onto the back of another. The crowd was thrilled. The Pixies performed stunts that would put Circa Solie to shame. The crowd started to clap in time with the music.

The Pixies were dressed in strangely altered costumes that were taken from the pillaged Barbies. I don't think they understood that men and women wore different clothes, but the pink bras and sparkly tutus on the male Pixies were flashy. The music was fast and reminded me of a strange mix of Middle Eastern and modern music. It sounded exotic to my southern ears. The troupe was moving in time to the music, and hitting each musical accent with a wild stunt.

The lights dimed to black and the announcer's voice broke in.

"There is a beautiful land far-far away called 'Magical Pixie Land.' In this land lives tiny Pixies. The Pixies are a merry people who enjoy singing and playing all day. Until one day, _tragedy_ strikes."

A blue light hits a large black pig who was standing in the middle of the dance floor. The black hog sparkled blue and purple. _Oh my gawd, someone glittered a hog._ There was a large ceramic purple shoe tied to his back. Dry ice smoke crept across the dance floor. The crowd made surprised noises when a group of Pixie children stood up inside the shoe. Another masked vampire placed a microphone in front of the children.

The children were dressed in the cutest costumes. The smallest ones looked like little balls of pink and purple netting dipped in glitter, and their hair was curled into ringlets. They sang in their high-pitched, squeaky voices an endearing song about being swept out to sea in a shoe. The smallest Pixies were making valiant efforts to paddle their purple nautical shoe while the older children sang. Many of the women in the crowd made awwwing sounds. The tiniest tyke fell out of the shoe onto the dance floor. A larger Pixie child leaped out, picked him up, and scrabbled back into the shoe.

It brought tears to my eyes. They were so adorable and sweet. _Who are these tiny creatures? Wasn't that the Pixie child who made up obscene limericks? __Weren't they doing a __Lord of the Flies__ reenactment just a few hours ago? _

The announcer told the audience, "The kind Prince of Magical Pixie Land found the babies in the vast ocean by using the _love in his heart_."

A white light hit Tall Oak, as he floated down to the children in the shoe. He looked handsome and proud in his shining metal armor. He scooped up the smallest child and kissed him.

Before the light dimmed to black the announcer said, "For _love_, is the most _powerful compass in life_."

The crowd applauded enthusiastically. My gin and toxic came up in the back of my throat.

Threatening and heavy music boomed through out the room. The announcer said, "There is trouble on the prowl in Magical Pixie Land."

Another security guard came out, but he had a wolf's mask on. The vampire was carrying a big fake sword. Tall Oak appeared carrying his toothpick size sword. The two commenced in a comical mock battle, and Tall Oak over powered the wolf. The wolf fell to his knees in defeat.

A huge hog waddled into the room pulling a small wagon. The crowd was laughing. The Pixies wrapped the wolf in chains and placed him in the wagon. He growled, snarled, and struggled against the chains, as he was wheeled off the dance floor.

The lighting changed to a golden color, as the Pixie women appeared. They sang a lovely song in another language. They danced in their flowing gold and silver dresses. They looked very ethereal in their altered Barbie costumes. They leaped high in the air, pirouetted, and landed gracefully. A spotlight illuminated Slender Willow. Though she was standing on a pig's head, she held herself with the dignity of a queen in a royal court. She sang a solo in English about her brave lover who defeated both sprites and Fairies. I noticed she was once again wearing her squirrel tail hat, but there was glitter on it.

The huge hog waddled back onto the dance floor pulling the wagon. He was being lead by the Pixies who were riding or walking beside it. The defeated wolf was in the wagon and slumped down against his chains. The Pixie men, women, and children were all dressed in shiny silvery costumes. For the first time, I spotted Grit riding on the pig.

As the music swelled, the Pixies sang the praises of the True People of the Trees, and the Ironwood Clan who had endured against great hardships. My heart softened, I saw them as a people who were molded by a harsh world, rather than annoying little demons.

A fat Pixie was riding on the wolf's shoulder and was holding a pink hammer. Instead of a flashy costume, the Pixie was dressed in black dress sock. It was pulled down over the rounded Pixie except where holes were cut out for his eyes and arms. He looked like a cross between a hangman and a turd.

The Pixie jumped on top of the wolf's slumped head, stomped his foot, and shook his fist at the wolf. The audience laughed. The tiny hangman Pixie yelled at the audience, and shook his pink hammer at them. _Yes, that had to be Grinslade. _Fortunately, the music was too loud to hear him. But the vampires might have heard his threats. They were in hysterics laughing over the tiny fat Pixie dressed in an old black sock.

The announcer listed the comical evil deeds of the wolf. Apparently, the wolf cheated at cards and peeked under women's skirts. The crowd laughed, and a woman shouted, "That sounds like my husband!"

The music stopped, and the spotlight narrowed on the wolf. Tall Oak shook a finger at the wolf while the announcer said, "The Prince warns the wolf he must be good and give up his bad ways."

The wolf shook his head and began to struggle against the chains. Grinslade gave the wolf a few hard bops to the head with the hammer. The hammer broke into pieces. The crowd was laughing, and I couldn't help but laugh too. Grinslade was stealing the show. He was a cross between "Itchy and Scratchy" and "South Park."

Tall Oak pointed his sword at Grinslade and nodded. The music boomed as Grinslade pulled a garrote out of thin air and whipped it around the wolf's head. He cut the head off in one smooth move, and it bounced across the dance floor. The wolf mask fell off the gagged head. It was Victor.

Humans in the audience applauded enthusiastically while others sat stunned. The vampires came out of their seats, but the True People of the Trees were already in full attack. Pixies yodeled and shrieked at the top of their lungs. The vampires tried to fight off the Pixies who swarmed them, but quickly learned not to touch them for they were clad in real silver. Pixies armed with silver chains and stakes appeared out of nowhere and attacked each vampire. The Pixies disappeared when the vampires would strike at them, and reappeared with sharpened garrotes wrapped around the vampires' necks. Even the Pixie children were swarming and killing vampires.

Finally, the humans came to their senses. They screamed and ran to the main doors, but a group of terrified pigs burst through the doors and trampled over them. The pigs squealed as they dashed around the room knocking over tables, people, and vampires.

I dropped to my knees, and hid under a table when the fighting started. The lighting was poor, but I saw Bill wrestle down a vampire on the dance floor. Liz fell on the victim, and tore his throat out with her teeth. Bill snapped the head off the torso, while she severed the tendons with her teeth. Okay, maybe Liz would not be my new best friend. I crawled back towards the service entrance, but there was fighting going on past the service doors too. I paused, not knowing what to do.

The stern looking vampire woman was moving against the wall, she was heading towards the service door and me. Without thinking, I was suddenly on my feet.

"She's going to get away!"

Eric immediately appeared behind her. He grappled with her, and managed to put her in a headlock, but had dropped his stake. I ran to him and snatched up the stake.

"Now, Sookie!"

With all my might, I plunged it between her rib cages. It penetrated the skin but did not go deep enough. She snarled in my face, and twisted to try to break free. She grabbed my throat with her free hand, but immediately shrieked and let go. She grabbed a knife that was protruding from one of her eyes. I saw Grit's small form as she flung herself against the vampire's remaining good eye. Her silver clad body immediately started burning the vampire's eye and flesh. Grit dug in like a tick.

I pushed the stake as Eric pushed. I heard and felt the gross sounds of muscle and cartilage tearing apart. The vampire slumped in Eric's arms and began to decay. Grit disappeared in a puff of sulfured air. Eric dropped the flaking corpse and grabbed me. We literally flew out the door. I heard distant fighting down the hallway, but there was no one to stop us except a pile of flaking corpses wearing dark suites and pig masks.

We were out the back service door, and Eric threw me into the back of a waiting car. The wheels squealed as we hauled ass out of the compound. I was still on the floorboard when I heard Pam laughing like a mad woman.

"WOO-HOO!"

I looked up to see Pam was driving. Her clothes and hair were a mess. There was a bad cut on her face, and she was splattered with thick vampire blood. Pam glanced back at me.

"That was Un-fucking-believable! I think the Pixes should take their act to Broadway!" She laughed wildly, as she drove like a maniac. "But they will have to get a lot more pigs if they want to impress New Yorkers! Wasn't Victor's performance superb?"

I climbed up off the floorboard and slumped in the backseat. I tried to get my hair out of my face and mouth. My purse was gone, but I had managed to stay in my shoes.

"The Pixies! Eric, we left Grit and the Pixies. We have to go back!"

Eric was texting as fast as his phone would allow. "They will be fine. They have disappeared by now, and are regrouping in another location where transportation is awaiting. Lover, look at me, was your throat damaged?"

Pam slowed down her driving to blend into traffic, while Eric examined my neck. Knowing it felt good to me, he held his cool hand to my hot bruised throat.

Eric continued, "Though, the report indicates Shreveport is calm, we are going back to maintain security in my territory. Pam wishes to stay and help in the mop up." He was smiling at his cell phone, "So far, the overthrow of De Castro's regime is going down flawlessly. I have reported the additional kills."

"Eric, why didn't you tell me a coup was going to happen? Why did you tell the Pixies and not me?"

"The less you knew the safer you were. I assure you, I did not want you anywhere near. As for the Pixies, much of this evening was their idea. Events almost spiraled beyond our control, but we managed to capitalize on them.

"Originally, the plan was to tract down Victor's place of rest, and Tall Oak and his best fighters would teleport in and kill him. Sweet and simple. Unfortunately, the time of the take-over kept changing. We had to stall, so the performance had to take place.

"The plan changed to a frontal assault. I had no time to bring in additional vampires. Bill was in town, so he and Liz joined the battle. I have never seen Pixies fight before; I thought the odds were against us. But the Pixies were certain they could get the job done, so we went for it.

When they adlibbed killing Victor in front of the audience, I thought we were in trouble, but it worked out. In fact, it worked out better than planned. They not only killed Victor and his security team, but three Sheriffs, De Castro's assistant, and several important supporting vampires." He chuckled, "They did not harm the humans. Though, the swine might have done some damage."

Pam laughed and glanced back at Eric. "Will we have to pay them for the additional vampires that were killed?"

"No. Those were freebies." Eric gave Pam full fanged smile, and she reciprocated in the rear view mirror.

I straightened up in my seat, "What about De Castro, and his crew in Las Vegas?"

"I assure you they have been dealt with. A group of California Vampires has dealt De Castro his final death. They are currently in the process of moping up his few loyal followers. The northern Florida kingdom took out De Castro's Louisiana followers. It was a joint effort between two kingdoms. I was tasked with killing Victor and his security team.

"I will tell you the details once we get home, but I assure you the Pixies were enthusiastic over plan. The agreed upon deal was for them to Kill Victor and in exchange, I would send the clan to their people in Northern Ireland in style. I furnished them with all the silver chains, weapons, and silver needed to get the job done. Also, all those trunks and boxes in the van were additional goods they wanted in trade for their mercenary services. They will not arrive as poor, ragged, refugees, but as wealthy _victors_." He said "victors" with a laugh.

"So, they did discover the lost Pixie tribes in Ireland?"

"Oh yes, Northern Ireland and northern Scotland. They found quite a few of them actually."

Pam turned into the airport and dropped us off at a hanger. We boarded a private jet and minutes later, we were rolling down the runway. I had never been in a private jet before. As we ascended in a fast and steep climb, I dropped my shoes to the floor and grabbed Eric's hand.

He took my hand and kissed my palm. He looked down at me and his eyes glazed a bit. "Lover, your throat is bruised. Doctor Northman believes you need a small taste of vampire blood. Did I mention how striking you look in that black dress and those red heels? Put your shoes back on. The Doctor wants to introduce you to the mile high club."

Unfortunately, the trip was too short for me to join the "mile high club." We joined much wilder and more exclusive group called the "rough landing club."

**Epilogue **

It was about two weeks after the latest Louisiana coup. My life had quickly settled down as though nothing had happened. I saw nothing in the papers about a vampire slaughter in New Orleans. I wondered if they even bothered to glamour the humans. How would the humans report that a group of tiny 6-inch beings revolted and killed vampires while a bunch of pigs stampeded around a room?

Bill was relieved that the photo of his happy face butt, with Pixies posed on top had faded as an internet sensation. The latest internet star was a rooster wearing tap shoes and dancing to Michael Jackson's "Beat It." Actually, the bird was a pretty good dancer.

Eric was still the Sheriff over his domain. As a reward for assisting in the take over, he was given a section of rural Arkansas territory to manage. Pam rolled her eyes when she told me the news. Apparently, no one wanted it.

De Castro's assets were divided between the California and Northern Florida vampire kingdoms. Eric did not share all the details with me, but I noticed that Alphonse no longer worked at Fangtasia. It was better that I not know how the sausage was made.

I got an email from Tall Oak the other day. Yes, that's right; the Pixies have email. They wanted me to ship them a case of Moon Pies and Doctor Pepper to their home in Northern Ireland. Apparently, they were adapting well to their new home, but they were not fond of the regional human food. There was no comparing Moon Pies and Pizza to cabbage and boiled potatoes.

Tall Oak attached several photos of the entire clan landing in Ireland. One was of Tall Oak and his family posed on top of his huge "war steed" hog. I laughed when I thought about Bobby Burnham trying to corral and crate that monster hog-zilla. I wondered how much glamour was required for him to think that it was a very important mission.

I inquired about Grit, and Tall Oak reported that Grit was fine. She had been ordered to stay home with the mothers and babies, but she had other ideas. She sneaked aboard the van, and insisted on fighting once discovered. Slender Willow intervened on her behalf and allowed her to fight.

There was a photo of Grit with her arms around the shoulders of the other young Pixies. They were all decked out in their silver makeshift costumes and armor, but Grit also had Gran's white hanky with ladybugs tied around her neck like a superman cape. She looked so happy in the midst of the other Pixies.

I planned to write Grit a special letter to thank her for throwing herself into the eyes of the vampire. If that vampire had a split second more, my throat would have been crushed. If not for Grit's fast thinking and bravery, I would have been severely hurt or killed. The funny little 5-inch Pixie in her ladybug cape was not exactly John Wayne, but she had displayed "True Grit." I was going to tell her that, and send her my father's Boy Scout, Red Cross badge for lifesaving.

The final photo that Tall Oak sent was of a swaggering Grinslade. He posed like a Hollywood star as he stepped off the plane. He was styling and profiling in his colorful duds. He wore a silk outfit and large brimmed pimp hat, all made from Victor's silk Mardi gras coat lining. He posed kissing his much taller Barbie. The doll had long blond hair, and she was wearing a low cut black dress. The cut of the dress was disturbingly familiar. She was probably wearing red shoes too. The photo made me smile; I always suspected he liked his mommies mean.

The entire De Castro regime was swept away in one night; I was happy for Eric. The Pixies were gone; I was happy for _me!_ I guess childhood stories are not all sugarcoated crapola after all. The magical Pixies defeated the big bad vampire wolves, became rich, found their people, and a home. For all these reasons, I can say with a smile and a wink - And the Pixies lived happily ever after.

The End.

_Thank you for taking the time to read this little story. I hope it gave you a few smiles. _


End file.
